


Forget You Not

by springair



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Dimidue, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Mild Blood, No Spoilers, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Pre-Time Skip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-20 18:34:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20680010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/springair/pseuds/springair
Summary: Fire blossomed in his chest at the thought. Dimitri was there for him. But not in the way he wanted. It would be utterly selfish of Dedue to wish for the same.





	Forget You Not

Dedue sat on his bed and stared at the stained handkerchief in his hands, wondering how in the world he was meant to clean it.

The cloth was deeply stained with blood, and the blue petals of forget-me-nots – like the ones he tended to in the greenhouse when he had spare time – a stark contrast to the crimson liquid they were littered in. _Forget-me-nots._ Flowers he recalled were symbolic of true, faithful love; ones given to a special someone in the thought that they would never forget the person who gifted them. He could have almost laughed if it were not for the burning pain in his throat, the shortness of breath he felt when he did anything other than speak, and the aching pain in his chest, as the roots of the flowers he adored so much stretched and wrapped themselves around his lungs.

Deduce would certainly never forget the man who planted these seeds in _his_ greenhouse.

Dimitri had gifted the handkerchief to him right before they had left for the academy, as a sort of going away gift. Dedue had treasured the cloth ever since he received it, as reluctant as he was to take it in the first place – a person of such background as himself receiving gifts from the crown prince of Faerghus never sat right with him, no matter the occasion or item.

—

“Dedue, I insist, you absolutely must take this.” Dimitri had said to him, holding a small black box in his gloved hands and showing it to Dedue.

Dedue shook his head, retaining that stoic expression he usually held. “No, your Highness, I cannot possibly.” 

Dimitri sighed and grabbed Dedue’s rough hands, pressing the box into them and closing his calloused fingers around it. “You will take it and you will use it. That’s an order.” The tone of his voice was nothing akin to the words he spoke. Dimitri smiled brightly at him, spun on his heel and walked off, leaving a flustered Dedue standing in the hallway scrambling to catch up.

—

He recalled the memory with a slight smile. That was the first time Dedue felt his heart jump.

He had tried to forget about – what he was feeling. He’d tried ignoring the warmth that spread within him as he watched from the sidelines as Dimitri chatted with Ingrid, expressed joy at winning a spar against Sylvain and laughed at Ashe for fussing over his titles. He’d tried to ignore the pang in his heart that he felt seeing Dimitri dance with girls at the ball before the Battle of the Eagle and Lion. He’d tried to ignore the temptation to let Dimitri into his mind, show him he wasn’t just his shield to use however he saw fit, to tell him that it was more than just an obligation to him. And he supposed he could say he had put it to the back of his mind.

Dedue was fine with being Dimitri’s vassal, he told himself. It was the closest he could get as a man of Duscur. Being by his side was enough to cause controversy, let alone be anything more than a friend. Even that he refused to consider himself. _Yes_, as long as no harm came to the prince, he would be happy viewing him from afar and keeping his inner turmoil to himself. He’d deal with it. He'd have to.

And he did – until the coughing started. It began as a tickle in his throat, something that would bother him every once in a while if he hadn’t been drinking as much as he should have. He dealt with it. Then it progressed into something you’d see at the onset of a cold, though Dedue hadn't had much experience of those. The pain was mild. He dealt with it. After almost a month, Dimitri advised he should take a visit to see Manuela, saying "she'd have some spell that would calm it down". Dedue shook his head and told him he'd deal with it. He dealt with it up until the coughs turned his face red, tore his throat till it bled, and his classmates gave him worried looks as he went into another fit during the middle of a lesson on authority. It got so disruptive Byleth paused her teaching, leaving everyone else a written task to complete, to speak to him.

—

“Dedue, are you alright?” Byleth leaned down over Dedue’s shared desk with Dimitri, brows furrowed. Many pupils from the other houses believed her to be the expressionless 'Ashen Demon', but being in her class made it obvious that she wasn’t all they made her out to be. Dedue saw she cared deeply about all her students and made sure they knew it even if no one else took note. It was evident in the way she took extra time going through topics they didn’t fully understand, like when Felix was having a hard time grasping a certain spell or Annette couldn’t get her horse to obey her.

As he opened his mouth to reply, the hacking started up again and he pulled out his handkerchief to cough into. The burning sensation ignited in his chest. Byleth watched him intently as he pulled away the cloth, eyes going wide when she saw flower petals. Dedue swallowed and looked at her almost fearfully.

“Dedue…” She mumbled under her breath. He could hear the pity in her voice. _Shameful._ He cleared his throat as if to say something but she put a hand out to stop him and shook her head. Standing up straight, she called out to everyone, “Okay, you guys continue on with the work I’ve given you while I go and sort Dedue out. Don’t try anything while I’m gone. Dimitri will let me know if anything funny happens.” She sent a wink towards the young prince and Dedue gnawed at his lip.

“C’mon, professor! Do you not trust us?” Sylvain remarked from his seat where he sat far-too-relaxed for someone who Byleth had planned a certification exam for the following day. Dedue hated yet admired Sylvain for passing everything that was thrown at him with such ease despite how little work he seemed to do.

“I don’t trust _you_.” She pointed an accusatory finger and Annette giggled only to be silenced by Sylvain glaring daggers. Sighing but still smiling, Byleth began to walk out of the Blue Lions classroom and turned to Dedue with an expectant look on her face, tilting her head upwards. He stood up, and bowed to Dimitri, uttered a weaker-than-usual ‘your highness’ before following after Byleth.

She had spent the next hour sitting with him in the infirmary, Manuela only staying to cast a joint painkilling-healing spell Dedue thought rather useless and then leaving to give them some peace. He was glad that Byleth had politely, albeit sternly, asked Manuela to give them some privacy. It wasn’t that he disliked her, only that sometimes she could be a bit… eccentric; in her defence, she _was_ a former actress. Manuela grumbled a bit, but let them be.

Dedue wasn’t one to openly display his true feelings with anybody, not even Dimitri, but as soon as Byleth implied he may be in “love” his cheeks were stained as red as his handkerchief. 

“I-“ he attempted feebly to defend himself, to convince her and maybe even himself that he wasn’t, he couldn’t be – but to no avail. Byleth gently took the handkerchief from his hands and inspected the contents: blood and petals. It was unmistakable. Dedue kept his head down, unable to look her in the eye. _ She knew what was wrong with him. _ She _knew_ and he was absolutely sure there was nothing he could do to convince her otherwise. She was a former mercenary after all, Dedue was certain she'd seen a lot more of the weird and wonderful than many of the students had, even if they hailed from nobility.

She said his name once again; “Dedue.” More demanding than sympathetic. Blue eyes met navy. Tears pricked at the corner of his eyes. "It will be okay." The tone of her voice betrayed her words, as if she was saying it to try and convince herself of it too. Gods, he could tell from the way she was looking at him that she already knew what, or rather _who_ was causing this searing pain inside of him.

_Okay?_ Dedue could have laughed. How in the world was everything meant to be okay when he was in love with someone who didn't reciprocate the feelings? Who _couldn't_ reciprocate the feelings? Dedue felt a sob rise in his throat but he swallowed it down as he normally did. "Professor... I do not think you understand my situation." Dedue was in love with the crown prince of Faerghus, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, sole survivor, besides himself, of the tragedy that took everything from the both of them just over 4 years past. He was in love with the man who had saved his life that day, who'd put his far-more-important life on the line to save some commoner he had never seen before. Dimitri... Dimitri had his flaws, everyone did, but in Dedue's eyes he was one of the greatest men he had ever met; one of the few citizens of Faerghus who held no prejudice towards him even knowing where he came from, even knowing it was _his_ kind who had killed his family and dearest friends, even knowing that the great majority of his people - some childhood friends, too - hated the people of Duscur.

Fire blossomed in his chest at the thought. Dimitri was there for him. But not in the way he wanted. It would be utterly selfish of Dedue to wish for the same.

Byleth sighed. A stray tear trailed down Dedue's cheek as a delicate hand was placed on his shoulder. "Maybe not." She replied, squeezing gently. "Maybe not, but..." She hesitated, as if deliberating if she should say what she wanted to. Dedue wished for her to hurry up, her hand was burning a hole on his shoulder, a painful reminder of the contact he would never receive from Dimitri, of the warmth the prince would someday share with someone, but not him. It would be a woman, a woman who he loved, a woman who'd bear his heirs, a _woman_ who made him happy. Not his vassal, not a commoner from Duscur, not a man - especially not him. _Pathetic_, he thought.

He was pathetic for even entertaining the thought of being Dimitri's... he couldn't bring himself to think it. He didn't _deserve_ to even hope for that, he knew that, but the thought crept up on him more often than he'd like it to. In class, when he should've been focusing on copying down notes on the professor's lectures, all the _'what ifs...'_ flooded his brain and clouded his focus. In mock battles, seeing the way Dimitri charged at his opponent with the determination of a man who had nothing to lose, fighting as if that moment was his last among mortals; Dedue eyed the sweat rolling off of his brow, how he panted after crossing arms with a particularly skilled bandit, the smile he sent his way after his vassal had assisted him in taking down said enemy. It was then, too, he felt the tug and tightening of the roots around his lungs, filling up the empty spaces in his ribcage, winding and reaching out for the sunlight as they climbed up his throat.

"Maybe I _don't_ fully understand, Dedue. As you well know, my life had been rather sheltered from most of civilisation before meeting the house leaders and becoming a professor at the monastery. My father said to me a few moons back that I'd become more, expressive, emotional, _human-_" She paused to chuckle gently at the memory and Dedue felt the corner of his mouth twitch. "-something along those lines, after finding a passion in teaching my students. Emotions are still a tricky thing for me, and I'm understanding these feelings more each day I spend here and get to observe every single students unique and diverse character. Seeing Sylvain's playful attitude around Ingrid and her agitation at his womanising, Felix's 'I promise I don't care about you, but if you get injured? I'll be furious' approach to friendship and Mercedes and Annette's bond that everyone can tell will go the distance." Dedue made note of the fact she did not bring up Dimitri. Byleth exhaled and shook her head, having said more than she probably set out to. Taking another deep breath, she continued "I may not understand what you're going through, but do remember that I'm here for you if you ever need a shoulder to lean on. I'm sure many others would be happy to offer the same, especially the lions. You're a good bunch of kids." With that, she retracted her hand and Dedue almost sighed in relief, before stopping himself from acting rude towards Byleth after she'd opened up to him like that. She rarely talked about what she was feeling, so Dedue was grateful for what little insight she gave him.

"Thank you, professor." He wasn’t one for words. She gave him a brief nod of acknowledgement; she knew it was hard for him to even say that. The blue haired woman stood to leave. 

Byleth halted in the doorway and opened her mouth as if to speak. She closed it again and turned so her side was facing the armoured knight. Perhaps yet again uncertain if she was overstepping his boundaries, she nibbled her lip and stared at the marks in the wood. After a cough to clear her throat, she spoke again: "I'd consider telling Dimitri how you feel." And then she left Dedue to his own devices, mind tripping over itself trying to process all she had said and especially _that_. He ran a hand through his silver hair and sighed heavily, tugging at it roughly as his blunt nails dug into his leg.

—

He was right. She could never understand.

Dedue was in love with Dimitri. Dimitri was not in love with Dedue. 

Dimitri was in love with the _professor_. Any fool could see that. 

Dedue sat on his bed and stared at the stained handkerchief in his hands, wondering if it was possible that he could clean his thoughts too. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! This idea popped into my head and it crushed my heart in the process of writing it because I adore both Dimitri and Dedue. I hope you enjoyed and I appreciate any comments ♡
> 
> Big thank you to @LudoJax on twitter for helping me out with this! Find me on twitter at @elizaschuylers


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